Tagged: Andrew Toggle Comment Threads | Keyboard Shortcuts

  • lczarnik 09:16 on February 23, 2016 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: Andrew,   

    Green Thing 

    Forwarded message
    From: Andrew
    Date: 22 February 2016 at 20:29
    Subject: Green Thing

    Ladies and Gentlemen, for those that can remember before we had the greening.

    "Checking out at the store, the young cashier suggested to the much older lady that she should bring her own grocery bags, because plastic bags are not good for the environment.
    The woman apologized to the young girl and explained, "We didn’t have this ‘green thing’ back in my earlier days."

    The young clerk responded, "That’s our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment for future generations."

    The older lady said that she was right — our generation didn’t have the "green thing" in its day. The older lady went on to explain:
    Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were recycled. But we didn’t have the "green thing" back in our day.

    Grocery stores bagged our groceries in brown paper bags that we reused for numerous things. Most memorable besides household garbage bags was the use of brown paper bags as book covers for our school books. This was to ensure that public property (the books provided for our use by the school) was not defaced by our scribblings. Then we were able to personalize our books on the brown paper bags. But, too bad we didn’t do the "green thing" back then.
    We walked up stairs because we didn’t have an escalator in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn’t climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks.

    But she was right. We didn’t have the "green thing" in our day.

    Back then we washed the baby’s diapers because we didn’t have the throw away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy-gobbling machine burning up 220 volts. Wind and solar power really did dry our clothes back in our early days. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing.

    But that young lady is right; we didn’t have the "green thing" back in our day.
    Back then we had one TV, or radio, in the house — not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of the state of Montana. In the kitchen we blended and stirred by hand because we didn’t have electric machines to do everything for us. When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used wadded up old newspapers to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap. Back then, we didn’t fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn’t need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity.

    But she’s right; we didn’t have the "green thing" back then.

    We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water. We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blade in a r azor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull.

    But we didn’t have the "green thing" back then.

    Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service in the family’s $45,000 SUV or van, which cost what a whole house did before the"green thing." We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn’t need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 23,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest burger joint.

    But isn’t it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn’t have the "green thing" back then?

    Please forward this on to another selfish old person who needs a lesson in conservation from a smart ass young person.

    We don’t like being old in the first place, so it doesn’t take much to piss us off… Especially from a tattooed, multiple pierced smartass who can’t make change without the cash register telling them how much."

  • lczarnik 01:40 on August 3, 2011 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: Andrew, ,   

    Dear Ms Gillard 

    Thanks.  Been posted on http://czarnik-life.posterous.com/ tagged as both Humours and Thought Provoking.
    ———- Forwarded message ———-
    From: Andrew
    Date: 3 August 2011 11:18
    Subject: Dear Ms Gillard

    Dear Ms. Gillard,



          Please find below our suggestion for fixing Australia 's economy.



          Instead of giving billions of dollars to banks that will squander the

    money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan..

          You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:



          There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force.



          Pay them $1 million each severance for early retirement with the

    following stipulations:



          1) They MUST retire.

          Ten million job openings – unemployment fixed



          2) They MUST buy a new Australian car.

          Ten million cars ordered – Car Industry fixed



          3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage –

          Housing Crisis fixed



          4) They MUST send their kids to school/college/university –

          Crime rate fixed



          5) They MUST buy $100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week ……

          and there's your money back in duty/tax etc



          6) Instead of stuffing around with the carbon emissions trading scheme

    that makes us pay for the major polluters, tell the greedy bastards to

    reduce their pollution emissions by 75% within 5 years or we shut them down.



          It can't get any easier than that!



          P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back

    their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances



          If you think this would work, please forward to everyone you know. If

    not, please disregard.



          Grumpies of the World Unite



          Also .




          Let's put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home.



          This way the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and


          They'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical

    treatment, wheel chairs etc and they'd receive money instead of paying it


          They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped

    instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance.

          Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed

    and returned to them.

          A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and

    snacks to their cell.

          They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.

          They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual

    counselling, pool and education.

          Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ's and legal aid would be free, on


          Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with


          Each senior could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls.

          There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards

    would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.


          The criminals would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised.

    Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week.  Live in a tiny room and pay

     $600.00 per week and have no hope of ever getting out.

          Think about this (more points of contention):


          THE AUSTRALIAN CONSTITUTION They keep talking about drafting a

    Constitution for Iraq … Why don't we just give them ours?

          It was drawn up by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for

    centuries and we're not using it anymore.



          The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a

    courthouse or Parliament, is this –

          You cannot post 'Thou Shalt Not Steal', 'Thou Shalt Not Commit

    Adultery' and 'Thou Shall Not Lie' in a building full of lawyers, judges and

    politicians…… It creates a hostile work environment.



          Think about this ….. If you don't want to forward this for fear of

    offending someone — YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM! It is time for us grumpy

    old folk of Australia to speak up!










Compose new post
Next post/Next comment
Previous post/Previous comment
Show/Hide comments
Go to top
Go to login
Show/Hide help
shift + esc
%d bloggers like this: