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  • lczarnik 08:49 on July 28, 2016 Permalink | Reply
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    Black Fathers Matter – Commentary 

    Forwarded message
    From: Ken W
    Date: 28 July 2016 at 04:17
    Subject: Fwd: Black Fathers Matter – Commentary

    Very enlightening!

    Black Fathers Matter

    Sent by a friend, who sez:

    This is the best thing I’ve heard on this subject, maybe ever.


  • lczarnik 14:47 on July 27, 2016 Permalink | Reply
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    1925 – 1955?? 

    Forwarded message
    From: Ken W
    Date: 27 July 2016 at 14:31
    Subject: Fwd: Fw: 1925 – 1955??

    No matter what our kids And the new generation think about us,

    OUR Lives are LIVING PROOF !!!


    To Those of Us Born
    1925 – 1955:

    At the end of this email is a quote of the month by Jay Leno.

    If you don’t read anything else, Please read what he said.

    1930s, ’40s, ‘and

    50s, !!

    First, we survived being born to mothers who may have smoked and/or drank
    While they were pregnant.

    They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn’t get tested for diabetes.

    Then, after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs
    with bright colored
    Lead-based paints.

    We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, locks on doors or cabinets,
    And, when we rode our bikes,
    We had baseball caps,
    Not helmets, on our heads.

    As infants and children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, no booster seats, no seat belts, no air bags, bald tires and sometimes no brakes..

    Riding in the back of a pick- up truck on a warm day was always a special treat.

    We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle.

    We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle, and no one actually died from this.

    We ate cupcakes, white bread, real butter, and bacon. We drank Kool-Aid made with real white sugar.
    And we weren’t overweight.


    Because we were always outside playing…that’s why!

    We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.
    No one was able to reach us all day.
    –And, we were OKAY.

    We would spend hours building
    Our go-carts out of scraps and then ride them down the hill,
    Only to find
    Out we forgot the brakes.. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned To solve the problem..

    We did not
    Have Play Stations, Nintendos and X-boxes. There were

    No video games,
    No 150 channels on cable,

    No video movies
    Or DVDs,

    No surround-sound or

    No cell phones,
    No personal computers,
    No Internet and
    No chat rooms.

    And we went
    Outside and found them!

    We fell out of
    trees, got cut,

    Broke bones and

    And there were
    No lawsuits

    From those accidents.

    We would get
    Spankings with wooden spoons, switches, ping-pong paddles, or just a bare hand,
    And no one would call child services to report abuse.

    We ate worms,
    And mud pies

    Made from dirt,

    The worms did
    Not live in us forever.

    We were given
    BB guns for our 10th birthdays, 22 rifles for our 12th, rode horses,made up games with sticks and tennis balls, and
    -although we were
    Told it would happen- we did not put out very many eyes.

    We rode bikes
    Or walked to a friend’s house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just Walked in and talked to them.

    Little League had

    And not everyone
    Made the team.

    Those who didn’t
    Had to learn

    To deal with

    Imagine that!!

    The idea of a parent bailing
    Us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!

    These generations have
    Produced some of the best risk-takers,

    Problem solvers, and
    Inventors ever.

    The past 60
    To 85 years have seen an explosion of innovation and new ideas..

    We had freedom,
    Failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all.

    If YOU are
    One of those born

    Between 1925-1955, CONGRATULATIONS!

    You might want
    to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids before the lawyers
    and the government regulated so much of our lives for our own good.

    While you are
    at it, forward it to your kids, so they will know how brave and lucky their parents

    Kind of makes
    you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn’t it ?

    The quote of
    the month

    Jay Leno:
    "With hurricanes, tornados,
    fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the
    country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist
    attacks, are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?"

    For those that
    prefer to think that God is not watching over us…go ahead and delete this..

    For the rest of us…..
    please pass this on.

  • lczarnik 13:36 on July 23, 2016 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: ,   

    Who is God? 

    Forwarded message
    From: Ralph & BA
    Date: 23 July 2016 at 02:42
    Subject: Fw: Who is God?

    Who is God? Well, He/She could be,

    There were 3 good arguments that Jesus wasBlack:
    1.He called everyone brother.
    2.He liked Gospel.
    3.He didn’t get a fair trial.

    But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:
    1.He went into His Father’s business.
    2.He lived at home until he was 33.
    3.He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his Mother was sure He was God.

    But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:
    1.He talked with His hands.
    2.He had wine with His meals.
    3.He used olive oil.

    But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:
    1.He never cut His hair.
    2.He walked around barefoot all the time.
    3.He started a new religion.

    But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian:
    1.He was at peace with nature.
    2.He ate a lot of fish.
    3.He talked about the Great Spirit.

    But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:
    1.He never got married.
    2.He was always telling stories.
    3.He loved green pastures.

    But the most compelling evidence of all – 3 proofs that Jesus was a woman:
    1.He fed a crowd at a moment’s notice when there was virtually no food.
    2.He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn’t get it.
    3.And even when He was dead; He had to get up because there was still work to do.

    Can I get an AMEN

  • lczarnik 11:12 on July 22, 2016 Permalink | Reply
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    Political One Liners 

    Forwarded message
    From: Ralph & BA
    Date: 21 July 2016 at 23:35
    Subject: Fw: Fwd: Political One Liners

    If God wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates.
    ~Jay Leno~

    The problem with political jokes is they get elected.
    ~Henry Cate, VII~

    We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.

    Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.
    ~Nikita Khrushchev~

    When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I’m beginning to believe it.
    ~Clarence Darrow~

    Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel.
    ~John Quinton~

    Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you.
    ~Author unknown~

    Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other.
    ~Oscar Ameringer~

    I offer my opponents a bargain: if they will stop telling lies about us, I will stop telling the truth about them.
    ~Adlai Stevenson, 1952~

    A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country.
    ~ Tex Guinan~

    I have come to the conclusion that politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.
    ~Charles de Gaulle~

    Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.
    ~Doug Larson~

  • lczarnik 10:53 on July 18, 2016 Permalink | Reply
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    Color Is A Vibration That Magnifys At Night 

    Forwarded message –
    From: susan b
    Date: 11 April 2012 at 13:03
    Subject: Color Is A Vibration That Magnifys At Night

    TheBeautyOfNight.pps — Shared securely with Kloudless

    Dream and enjoy

  • lczarnik 09:03 on July 13, 2016 Permalink | Reply
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    Forwarded message
    From: Ralph & BA
    Date: 12 July 2016 at 03:23
    Subject: Fw: Fwd: LAUGHS

    This must have been going around for about 5 years, but still funny–


    The doctor that had been seeing an 80-year-old woman for most of her life finally retired At her next checkup, the new Doctor told her To bring a list Of all the medicines that had been prescribed for Her.

    As The young doctor was looking through these, his eyes grew wide As he realized Grandma had a prescription for birth control Pills..

    "Mrs. Smith, do you realize these are BIRTH CONTROL Pills?

    "Yes, they help me sleep at night."

    "Mrs. Smith, I assure you there is absolutely NOTHING in These that that could possibly help you sleep!"

    She reached out and Patted the young Doctor’s knee…."Yes, dear, I know that. But every morning, I grind one up and mix it in the glass of orange juice that my 16 year old Granddaughter drinks . . .

    And believe me, it definitely helps me sleep at night."


    A man was riding a bus, minding his own business, when the gorgeous woman next to him started to breast-feed her baby. The baby wouldn’t take it, so she said, "Come on sweetie, eat it all up or I’ll have to give it to this nice man next to us."

    Five minutes later, the baby was still not feeding, so she said, "Come on, honey. Take it or I’ll give it to this nice man here."

    A few minutes later, the anxious man blurted out, "Come on kid. Make up your mind! I was supposed to get off four stops ago!


    This is straight from Scotland.. Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam. The last question was, ‘Name seven advantages of Mother’s Milk. The question was worth 70 points or none at all

    One student, in particular, was hard put to think of seven advantages. However, he wrote:

    1) It is perfect formula for the child.

    2) It provides immunity against several diseases.

    3) It is always the right temperature.

    4) It is inexpensive.

    5) It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa.

    6) It is always available as needed.

    And then the student was stuck. Finally, in desperation, just before the bell rang indicating the end of the test, he wrote:

    7) It comes in two attractive containers and it’s high enough off the ground where the cat can’t get it.

    He got an A.



    A Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife.

    "You come to the front door of the apartments.. I am in apartment 301 . There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 301. I will buzz you in. Come inside and the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow, push 3rd Floor. When you get out, I’m on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell. OK?"

    "Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow? ………

    "What . .. . .. .. You’re coming empty handed?"



    An old Italian man in Brooklyn is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside, "Guido, I wan’ you lissina me. I wan’ you to take-a my chrome plated …38 revolver so you will always remember me."

    "But grandpa, I really don’t like guns.. How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?"

    "You lissina me, boy! Somma day you gonna be runna da business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home and maybe a couple of bambinos. "

    "Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with another man. "Whatta you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, ‘Times up!’ "?



    A woman and her twelve-year-old son were riding in a taxi in Detroit. It was raining and all the prostitutes were standing under awnings.

    "Mom," said the boy, "what are all those women doing?"

    "They’re waiting for their husbands to get off work," she replied.

    The taxi driver turns around and says, "Geez lady, why don’t you tell him the Truth? They’re hookers, boy! They have sex with men for money."

    The little boy’s eyes get wide and he says, "Is that true Mom?"

    His mother, glaring hard at the driver, answers in the affirmative.

    After a few minutes, the kid asks, "Mom, if those women have babies, what happens to them?"

    "Most of them become taxi drivers," she said.

  • lczarnik 19:17 on July 10, 2016 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: ,   

    How to Tell When It’s Hot – Smile at these! 

    Forwarded message
    From: Ralph & BA
    Date: 10 July 2016 at 04:09
    Subject: Fw: Fwd: How to Tell When It’s Hot – Smile at these!

    How to Tell When It’s Hot

  • lczarnik 08:32 on July 4, 2016 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: ,   

    John Wayne Skit 

    Forwarded message
    From: Ken W
    Date: 4 July 2016 at 06:28
    Subject: Fwd: John Wayne Skit

    Check this out!!

    This is one I think you will really enjoy!

    It’s probably only so special because they’re all pretty much gone now ….. and the younger

    kids probably won’t even appreciate all that talent in one place.


  • lczarnik 02:28 on July 4, 2016 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: ,   

    Men and advice columns 

    Forwarded message
    From: Ralph & BA
    Date: 2 July 2016 at 22:07
    Subject: Fw: Fwd: Men and advice columns

  • lczarnik 11:45 on July 1, 2016 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: ,   

    Disorder in the American Courts 

    Forwarded message
    From: Terry
    Date: 1 July 2016 at 10:34
    Subject: Fwd: Disorder in the American Courts

    Probably seen them all before but they are still funny. Very American

    These are excerpts from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place…

    ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
    WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
    ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
    WITNESS: Yes.
    ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
    WITNESS: I forget.
    ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

    ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
    WITNESS: We both do.
    ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
    WITNESS: We do.
    ATTORNEY: You do?
    WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.

    ATTORNEY: Now doctor, "isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?"
    WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

    ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
    WITNESS: He’s twenty, much like your IQ.

    ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
    WITNESS: Are you shitting me?

    ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
    WITNESS: Yes.
    ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
    WITNESS: Getting laid

    ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
    WITNESS: Yes..
    ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
    WITNESS: None.
    ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
    WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?

    ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
    WITNESS: By death.
    ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
    WITNESS: Take a guess.

    ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
    WITNESS: He was about 20, medium height, and had a beard.
    ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
    WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male.

    ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
    WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.

    ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK?
    What school did you go to?
    WITNESS: Oral.

    ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
    WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
    ATTORNEY: And, Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
    WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.

    ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
    WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?

    And the best for last:
    ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
    WITNESS: No.
    ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
    WITNESS: No.
    ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
    WITNESS: No.
    ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
    WITNESS: No .
    ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
    WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
    ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
    WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

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