Updates from September, 2014 Toggle Comment Threads | Keyboard Shortcuts

  • lczarnik 12:16 on September 25, 2014 Permalink | Reply
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    Why teachers drink 

    Forwarded message
    From: Ralph & BA
    Date: 25 September 2014 03:24
    Subject: Fw: Fwd: RE: Why teachers drink

    Why Teachers DRINK !

    The following questions were in last year’s GED examination.

    These are genuine answers from 16 year olds! (In 2 years they can vote!)

    Q. Name the four seasons

    A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

    Q. How is dew formed

    A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire

    Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on

    A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed

    Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections

    A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election

    Q. What are steroids

    A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs (Shoot yourself now, there is little hope)

    Q. What happens to your body as you age

    A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental

    Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty

    A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery (So true)

    Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes

    A. Premature death

    Q. What is artificial insemination

    A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow

    Q. How can you delay milk turning sour

    A. Keep it in the cow (Simple, but brilliant)

    Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorized (e.g. The abdomen)

    A. The body is consisted into 3 parts – the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A,E,I,O,U

    Q. What is the fibula?

    A. A small lie

    Q. What does ‘varicose’ mean?

    A. Nearby

    Q. What is the most common form of birth control

    A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium (That would work)

    Q. Give the meaning of the term ‘Caesarean section’

    A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome

    Q. What is a seizure?

    A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)

    Q. What is a terminal illness

    A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable)

    Q. What does the word ‘benign’ mean?

    A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight (brilliant)

    Q. What is a turbine?

    A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head. Once a Arab boy reaches puberty, he removes his diaper and wraps it around his head. (finally we understand)

  • lczarnik 09:03 on September 24, 2014 Permalink | Reply
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    A Public Safety Message 

    Forwarded message
    From: Ralph & BA
    Date: 24 September 2014 04:06
    Subject: Fw: Fwd: A Public Safety Message


    A Hong Kong movie theater asks its patrons to leave their cellphones ON when they enter the movie. Using that, Volkswagen made an eye opening ad…

    More than 1.5 million views in 3 days!

    After viewing, please forward


  • lczarnik 09:01 on September 24, 2014 Permalink | Reply
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    The Royal Guard …….and others 

    Forwarded message From: Ralph & BA
    Date: 24 September 2014 03:12
    Subject: Fw: Fwd: The Royal Guard …….and others

    Have a smile…………… Emoji

    The Royal Guard.


  • lczarnik 07:07 on September 23, 2014 Permalink | Reply
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    The Phone 

    Forwarded message
    From: Ralph & BA
    Date: 23 September 2014 00:21
    Subject: Fw: Fwd: Fw: The Phone

    The Phone

  • lczarnik 12:55 on September 22, 2014 Permalink | Reply
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    The Vatican’s Got Talent … Enjoy! – (Yes it really is the Pope telling jokes! And pretty good ones! Larry) 

    Forwarded message
    From: Ralph & BA
    Date: 22 September 2014 11:49
    Subject: Fw: Fwd: The Vatican’s Got Talent … Enjoy!

    You may enjoy the new pope even more….. watch to the end….

    It’s hard to believe this funny video clip came from the Vatican (!!) …. Yes, that really is the POPE!!! http://www.youtube.com/embed/VIPTdtEvr40?rel=0

  • lczarnik 08:24 on September 22, 2014 Permalink | Reply
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    Wine advent calendar 

    Forwarded message
    From: Vicki
    Date: 22 September 2014 07:04
    Subject: Re: Wine advent calendar

    Yes I already sent as picture but as SMS not email but here it is again

  • lczarnik 08:39 on September 20, 2014 Permalink | Reply
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    Chemo Day 

    Forwarded message
    From: Ralph & BA
    Date: 20 September 2014 03:04
    Subject: Fw: Chemo Day

    Chemo Day
    Some will say you will pray because it is a nice thing to say or it is politically correct.
    Then there are those of you who will really do it. I’m sending this to some who will.
    This prayer means so much so please say the prayer for everyone and pass it on.
    Cancer is a strange cell.

    Pray for the day there will be a permanent cure.
    93% won’t forward, but I’m Sure You Will.
    A small request….. Just one line
    Dear God,
    I pray that You will guide someone to find a cure for cancer in 2014 ….
    All you are asked to do is keep this circulating, Even if it’s only to one more person.
    In memory of anyone you know who has been struck down by cancer or is still living with it.
    A Candle Loses Nothing by Lighting Another Candle.
    Please Keep This Candle Going

  • lczarnik 07:06 on September 18, 2014 Permalink | Reply
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    Hmmmmm, On Second Thought 

    Forwarded message
    From: Ralph & BA
    Date: 18 September 2014 03:19
    Subject: Fw: Fwd: Hmmmmm, On Second Thought

    On Second Thought…


























    A closed mouth gathers no feet!

  • lczarnik 08:10 on September 17, 2014 Permalink | Reply
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    One Pair of Hands by Elvis Presley 

    Forwarded message
    From: Ralph & BA
    Date: 17 September 2014 05:51
    Subject: Fw: Fwd: Fw: One Pair of Hands by Elvis Presley

    One Pair of Hands byElvis

    If you have not seen this video please take three minutes to watch and listen. It’s beautiful.

    This song was written by Carroll Roberson, and is sung by Elvis Presley

    This song was recently found in the Elvis Presley archives.

    You must listen, it’s beautiful and I am sure you will pass it on.
    If you are not a fan of his, the song definitely is worth listening to……….

    Click on box;


  • lczarnik 10:03 on September 13, 2014 Permalink | Reply
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    A teddy bear mommy 

    Forwarded message
    From: Ralph & BA
    Date: 13 September 2014 05:37
    Subject: Fw: A teddy bear mommy

    Hours after his birth, Breeze was found stumbling around by a farmer. The new-born foal had been abandoned by his mother so the farmer took him to the Devon-based Mare and Foal Sanctuary where they cared for him. What happened next is heart-warming. One of the staff put a four-foot giant Teddy Bear called Buttons into the stall with Breeze.

    The foal was instantly attracted to him. He had found a comforting replacement for his mother. The two are inseparable. The caregivers expect Breeze to be fine, thanks to the farmer who rescued him and to those who cared enough to take this little Cutie in. Special thanks to Buttons.

    "A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they’ll never sit in."
    Greek Proverb

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