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  • lczarnik 12:49 on April 27, 2015 Permalink | Reply
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    Forwarded message
    From: Ken W
    Date: 24 April 2015 at 22:48

    A short clip from

    John Wayne 1970 Variety Show
    Celebrating America’s History


    This one is so special because they’re all pretty much gone now and the younger gen-kids probably won’t even appreciate all that talent in one place.

  • lczarnik 12:45 on April 27, 2015 Permalink | Reply
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    Idle Thoughts 

    Forwarded message
    From: Ralph & BA
    Date: 27 April 2015 at 11:57
    Subject: Fw: Fwd: Idle Thoughts

    Idle Thoughts
    I had amnesia once — maybe twice

    I went to San Francisco. I found someone’s heart. Now what?

    Protons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.

    All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.

    If the world were a logical place, men would be the ones who ride horses sidesaddle.

    What is a "free" gift? Aren’t all gifts free?

    They told me I was gullible, and I believed them.

    Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and when he grows up he’ll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway.

    Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.

    One nice thing about egotists: they don’t talk about other people.

    My weight is perfect for my height — which varies.

    I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.

    How can there be self-help "groups"?

    If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

    Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I’ll show you a man who can’t get his pants off.

    Is it me or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?

  • lczarnik 09:48 on April 24, 2015 Permalink | Reply
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    Forwarded message
    From: Ralph & BA
    Date: 24 April 2015 at 05:28




































  • lczarnik 09:46 on April 24, 2015 Permalink | Reply
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    Forwarded message
    From: Ralph & BA
    Date: 24 April 2015 at 05:12

    These have been around before but they are funny. BA



    1… A man comes into the ER and yells . . .’
    My wife’s going to have her baby in the cab.’
    I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab,
    lifted the lady’s dress and began to take off her underwear.
    Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs – – – and I was in the wrong one.

    Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald ,

    San Francisco

    2… At the beginning of my shift
    I placed a stethoscope on an elderly
    and slightly deaf female patient’s anterior chest wall.
    ‘Big breaths,’. . . I instructed.
    ‘Yes, they used to be,’. . .replied the patient.

    Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes ,
    Seattle , WA

    3… One day I had to be the bearer of bad
    news when I told a wife that her husband had
    died of a massive myocardial infarct.
    Not more than five minutes later, I heard her
    reporting to the rest of the family that he had
    died of a ‘massive internal fart.’

    Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg

    4… During a patient’s two week follow-up
    appointment with his cardiologist, he informed
    me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with
    one of his medications..
    ‘ Which one?’ I asked. ‘The patch…
    The Nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours
    and now I’m running out of places to put it !’
    I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn’t see:
    Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body!
    Now, the instructions include removal of
    the old patch before applying a new one.

    Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair ,
    Norfolk , VA

    5… While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient,
    I asked, ‘How long have you been bedridden?’
    After a look of complete confusion she answered .. .
    ‘Why, not for about twenty years – when my husband was alive.’

    Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson-
    Corvallis , OR

    6… I was performing rounds at the
    hospital one morning and while checking
    up on a man I asked . . .’So how’s your
    breakfast this morning?’ "It’s very good
    except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can’t seem
    to get used to the taste," Bob replied.
    I then asked to see the jelly and Bob produced
    a foil packet labeled ‘KY Jelly.’

    Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf,
    Detroit , MI

    7… A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room when a young woman
    with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk,
    sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing,
    entered. It was quickly determined that
    the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was
    scheduled for immediate surgery.
    When she was completely disrobed on the operating table,
    the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green
    and above it there was a tattoo that read . . .’Keep off the grass.’
    Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon
    wrote a short note on the patient’s dressing,
    which said ‘Sorry . . . had to mow the lawn.’

    Submitted by RN no name ,

    AND ALMOST FINALLY !! . . . . . .. . . . . . . . .

    8… As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB.
    I was quite embarrassed when performing female pelvic exams…
    To cover my embarrassment I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly.
    The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing this exam
    suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassing me.
    I looked up from my work and sheepishly said. . .
    ‘I’m sorry. Was I tickling you?’
    She replied with tears running down
    her cheeks from laughing so hard . . .
    ‘No doctor but the song you were whistling was . . ..
    ‘I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener.’ ‘

    Dr. wouldn’t submit his name…. (I think this was Norm~!)


    Baby’s First Doctor Visit
    This made me laugh out loud.
    A woman and a baby were in the doctor’s examining room,
    waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby’s first exam.
    The doctor arrived, and examined the baby,
    checked his weight, and being a little concerned,
    asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed. ‘Breast-fed,’ she replied..
    ‘Well, strip down to your waist,’ the doctor ordered.
    She did. He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts
    for a while in a very professional and detailed examination.
    Motioning to her to get dressed, the doctor said,
    ‘No wonder this baby is underweight.
    You don’t have any milk.’
    I know,’ she said, ‘I’m his Grandma,
    But I’m glad I came.

  • lczarnik 09:29 on April 22, 2015 Permalink | Reply
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    Christian one-liners 

    Forwarded message
    From: Ralph & BA
    Date: 21 April 2015 at 23:45
    Subject: Fw: Fwd: Fw: Christian one-liners

    Don’t let your worries get the best of you; Remember, Moses started out as a basket case.

    Some people are kind, polite, and sweet-spirited
    Until you try to sit in their pews.

    Many folks want to serve God,

    But only as advisers.

    It is easier to preach ten sermons

    Than it is to live one.

    The good Lord didn’t create anything without a purpose,
    But mosquitoes come close.

    When you get to your wit’s end,
    You’ll find God lives there.

    People are funny; they want the front of the bus,
    Middle of the road,
    And back of the church.

    Opportunity may knock once,
    But temptation bangs on the front door forever.

    Quit griping about your church;

    If it was perfect, you couldn’t belong.

    If a church wants a better pastor,
    It only needs to pray for the one it has.

    We’re called to be witnesses, not lawyers or Judges.

    God Himself doesn’t propose to judge a man until
    he is dead. So why should you?

    Some minds are like concrete

    Thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.

    Peace starts with a smile.

    I don’t know why some people change churches;
    What difference does it make which one you stay home from?

    Be ye fishers of men. You catch ’em – He’ll clean ’em.

    Stop, Drop, and Roll won’t work in Hell.


    Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.

    Don’t put a question mark where God put a period.

    Don’t wait for 6 strong men to take you to church.

    Forbidden fruits create many jams.

    God doesn’t call the qualified, He qualifies the called.

    God grades on the cross, not the curve.

    God loves everyone,
    But probably prefers ‘fruits of the spirit’ over ‘religious nuts!’

    God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage..

    He who angers you, controls you!

    If God is your Co-pilot, swap seats!

    Don’t give God instructions, just report for duty!

    The task ahead of us is never as
    great as the Power behind us.

    The Will of God never takes you to where the
    Grace of God will not protect you.

    We don’t change the message,
    The message changes us.

    You can tell how big a person is
    By what it takes to discourage him/her.

    The best mathematical equation I have ever seen:
    1 cross + 3 nails = 4 given.

    If this blessed you in a profound way today,

    Share it with a few friends to bless them!

    I bet someone else will LOVE it too.

    There is no greater treasure than a good friend!

  • lczarnik 07:34 on April 19, 2015 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: ,   

    Bet you play this twice. 

    Forwarded message
    From: Ralph & BA
    Date: 19 April 2015 at 01:19
    Subject: Fw: Fwd: Bet you play this twice.

    this has been around but worth looking at again


  • lczarnik 07:55 on April 18, 2015 Permalink | Reply
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    Puns for educated minds 

    Forwarded message
    From: Ken W
    Date: 17 April 2015 at 04:04
    Subject: Fw: Fwd: Puns for educated minds

    These are long, but really funny. I wonder how people come up with these things. Too much time on their hands I guess.


    • How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it….

    • Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!

    • A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.

    • I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

    • Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

    • England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .

    • I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

    • They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.

    • I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.

    • Jokes about German sausages are the wurst.

    • I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

    • I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

    • This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.

    • When chemists die, apparently they barium.

    • I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.

    • I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

    • I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

    • Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?

    • When you get a bladder infection you know urine trouble.

    • Broken pencils are pretty much pointless.

    • What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

    • I dropped out of the Communism class because of lousy Marx.

    • All the toilets in New York ‘s police stations have been stolen. As of now, it appears the police have nothing to go on.

    • I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

    • Velcro – what a rip off.

  • lczarnik 08:34 on April 16, 2015 Permalink | Reply
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    Ann Margaret 

    Forwarded message
    From: Ken W
    Date: 16 April 2015 at 06:04
    Subject: Fw: Subject: Ann Margaret

    This one is well worth forwarding

    Ann Margaret ….
    This is a good counter-balance story to the Jane Fonda,
    " Vietnam Woman Of The Year," story.

    Viet Nam 1966

    Richard, (my husband), never really talked a lot about his time in Viet Nam, other than he had been shot by a sniper. However, he had a rather grainy, 8 x 10 black and white photo he had taken at a USO show of Ann Margret with Bob Hope in the background that was one of his treasures.

    A few years ago, Ann Margaret was doing a book signing at a local bookstore. Richard wanted to see if he could get her to
    Sign the treasured photo so he arrived at the bookstore at 12 o’clock for the 7:30 signing.

    When I got there after work, the line went all the way around the bookstore, circled the parking lot, and disappeared behind a parking garage. Before her appearance, bookstore employees announced that she would sign only her book and no memorabilia would be permitted.

    Richard was disappointed, but wanted to show her the photo and let her know how much those shows meant to lonely GI’s so far from home.. Ann Margaret came out looking as beautiful as ever and, as second in line, it was soon Richard’s turn.

    He presented the book for her signature and then took out the photo. When he did, there were many shouts from the employees that she would not sign it. Richard said, "I understand. I just wanted her to see it."

    She took one look at the photo, tears welled up in her eyes and she said, "This is one of my gentlemen from Viet Nam and I most certainly will sign his photo. I know what these men did for their country and I always have time for ‘my gentlemen.”

    With that, she pulled Richard across the table and planted a big kiss on him. She then made quite a to-do about the bravery of the young men she met over the years, how much she admired them, and how much she appreciated them. There weren’t too many dry eyes among those close enough to hear. She then posed for pictures and acted as if he were the only one there.

    That night was a turning point for him. He walked a little straighter and, for the first time in years, was proud to have been a Vet. I’ll never forget Ann Margret for her graciousness and how much that small act of kindness meant to my husband.

    Later at dinner, Richard was very quiet. When I asked if he’d like to talk about it, my big, strong husband broke down in tears.. ”That’s the first time anyone ever thanked me for my time in the Army,” he said.

    I now make it a point to say ‘Thank you’ to every person I come across who served in our Armed Forces. Freedom does not come cheap and I am grateful for all those who have served their country.

    If you’d like to pass on this story, feel free to do so. Perhaps it will help others to become aware of how important it is to acknowledge the contribution our service people make.

  • lczarnik 07:48 on April 14, 2015 Permalink | Reply
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    The Most Notable Places on Earth. 

    Forwarded message
    From: Ralph & BA
    Date: 14 April 2015 at 01:03
    Subject: Fw: Fwd: Fw: The Most Notable Places on Earth.

    The Most Notable Places on Earth Emoji

    Have you ever wondered what the most dangerous city in the world is? Perhaps you’re curious where on Earth there’s the most amount of rain, or which city is the smartest city on earth? This list will give you the answers these questions, and more.
    The most dangerous city in the world

    San Pedro Sula, Honduras – A hub for illegal drugs and arms trafficking, San Pedro Sula also experiences more than 3 murders every day.

    The hottest place in the world

    Death Valley National Park, U.S.A. – The highest recorded temperature, was taken on July 10, 1913, and it reached 134°f (56°c).
    The coldest place in the world

    Antarctica – In August 2010, the lowest recorded temperature was recorded in the East Antarctic Plateau. The record temperature was -135.8°f (-93°c).
    The most populated city in the world

    Shanghai, China – With a population of over 24 million residents.
    The least populated city in the world

    Vatican City – With a population of 842 residents, Vatican City also boasts the title of smallest state in the world.
    The wealthiest city in the world

    Tokyo, Japan – The city of Tokyo has the highest GDP ($1,520 billion) of any other city in the world.
    The poorest city in the world

    Kinshasa, D.R.C. – The Democratic Republic of Congo is the poorest state in the world, and its capital, Kinshasa, is the poorest city. It has a GDP of $55 billion, and most of its residents live on less than $1 a day.
    The highest place in the world

    Nepal – Mount Everest stands at 29,029 ft (8.84km), and is the highest mountain in the world.
    The lowest place in the world (on land)

    Dead Sea, Israel / Jordan – Located at -1,401 ft (-427m) below sea-level, it is also the lowest lake in the world.
    The lowest place in the world (underwater)

    Mariana Trench, Pacific Ocean – In a depth of 35,797 ft (10.91km) below sea level, it is known as “Challenger Deep”, and has been visited by only 3 humans so far. (More people have visited the moon)
    The most photographed place in the world

    Guggenheim Museum, New York, U.S.A. – By running an algorithm that scanned through the internet’s immense collection of photos, the Guggenheim was found to be the most photographed place on earth.
    The wettest place in the world

    Mawsynram, India – This region in the Indian subcontinent enjoys an average of 467.35 inches (1187cm) of rain per year. (In 1985, it had an amazing 1000 inches, or 25.4 meters of rain!)
    The driest place in the world

    Atacama Desert, South America – It may be hard to believe, but the Atacama Desert gets about 4 inches (10cm) of rain every 1000 years. (Yes, 1000 years!)
    The sunniest place in the world

    Yuma, Arizona, U.S.A. – Yuma 90% clear and sunny skies every year, with an average of 11 hours of sunshine per day.
    The most expensive city in the world

    Singapore – In 2014, Singapore dethroned Tokyo and earned the title “world’s most expensive city”. An American travelling to Singapore will be shocked to see that the prices of cars are 4-6 times more expensive than in the U.S.

    The least expensive city in the world

    Mumbai, India – A stark contrast to Singapore, Mumbai is 2014’s cheapest city. On average, a person would need to spend 4 times as much in Singapore , compared to Mumbai.
    The Oldest city in the world (still exists)

    Damascus, Syria – While there are many older cities that no longer stand, the city of Damascus has evidence of civilization going back 11,000 years, and is the oldest city that still stands.
    The newest country in the world

    South Sudan – Following a bloody genocide, the southern part of Sudan, which consists mainly of Christians, split from the northern part (Muslim majority) in 2011, making it the youngest country in the world.
    The most visited city in the world

    London, England – London sees 18.69 million international visitors every year, making it the most visited city in the world.
    The most popular country in the world

    Germany – In an international survey performed by the BBC, Germany got a 59% positive rating, making it the most popular country in the world.

    The country that drinks the most coffee in the world

    Sweden – If you thought it would be the U.S.A. then you’d be wrong. The average Swede consumes 388mg of coffee per day.
    The country that drinks the most alcohol in the world

    Belarus – On average, every person above the age of 15 drinks 4.62 gallons (17 liters) per year, earning Belarus this dubious title.
    The most bicycle-friendly city in the world

    Groningen, Netherlands – Around 50% of the population of Groningen commutes on bicycles every day, making it the city with the most bicycles per capita.
    The most energy efficient city in the world

    Reykjavik, Iceland – All of the energy in the capital of Iceland comes from geothermal power plants and hydropower. The city aims to be completely free of fossil-fuel by 2050.
    The most emotional country in the world

    Philippines – In a poll spanning 3 years (2009-2011), residents of the Philippines were found to give the most emotional replies to simple questions.
    The least emotional country in the world

    Singapore – The same study found that the people of Singapore are the least likely to give an emotional response to the same questions.
    The country with the highest longevity in the world

    Monaco – The World Health Organization (WHO) found that the average life expectancy in Monaco is 87.2 years.
    The country with the lowest longevity in the world

    Sierra Leone – Sadly, with an average life expectancy of 47 years, Sierra Leone is the country with the shortest life expectancy in 2014.

    The most stressed-out country in the world

    Nigeria – When considering the low GDP, income inequality, murder rates, political corruption and unemployment rate, it’s easy to see why Nigerians are the most stressed people on earth.
    The most relaxed country in the world

    Norway – The exact opposite of Nigeria, Norway enjoys the most security, equality, earning power and education levels in the world.
    The country with the highest IQ in the world

    Honk Kong – The average IQ score in Hong Kong is 107 points.
    The country with the lowest IQ in the world

    Equatorial Guinea – The average IQ score in Equatorial Guinea is 59 points.
    The city with the best internet connectivity in the world

    Seoul, South Korea – South Korea has been enjoying some of the most advanced technology when it comes to internet connectivity, and with 10,000 government-sponsored free Wi-Fi spots in the city, it easily earns its title.

    The most cat dog friendly country in the world

    The United States of America – Americans love their pets. With a population of 76.4 million cats and 61.1 million dogs, the numbers speak for themselves.

  • lczarnik 14:11 on April 13, 2015 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: ,   

    Spring is on the way 

    Forwarded message
    From: Ralph & BA
    Date: 13 April 2015 at 05:26
    Subject: Fw: Spring is on the way

    The Most Beautiful Cherry Blossoms Around The World



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