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  • lczarnik 09:24 on September 15, 2018 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , Ralph & Barbara   

    Cats & Dogs 

    Forwarded message
    From: Ralph & BA
    Date: 23 May 2015 at 06:09
    Subject: Cats &Dogs

    https://1drv.ms/f/s!AqEOLiTwYPTMg75n-ChBkkf20bgpGA
     
  • lczarnik 08:30 on September 13, 2018 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , Ralph & Barbara   

    Only in This Part of the World 

    Forwarded message
    From: Ralph & Barbara
    Date: Sat, 3 Oct 2009 at 00:25
    Subject: Fw: Fwd: FW: Only in This Part of the World

    https://1drv.ms/p/s!AqEOLiTwYPTMg71NRGeA-CijPaORQA

     
  • lczarnik 10:58 on October 21, 2017 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , Ralph & Barbara   

    Chinese Innovation 

    Forwarded message
    From: Ralph
    Date: 23 May 2010 at 06:23
    Subject: Fw: Fwd: Chinese Innovation

    Chinese Train that never stops at a station. Read the text first, then look at the 1-minute movie clip.

    An AMAZING Chinese Concept – the train that never stops. Read how it works below, before viewing the video link. A brilliant new Chinese train innovation – get on and off the bullet train without the train stopping. No time is wasted. The bullet train is moving all the time. If there are 30 stations between Beijing and Guangzhou, just stopping and accelerating again at each station will waste both energy and time.

    A mere 5 min stop per station (elderly passengers cannot be hurried) will result in a total loss of 5 min x 30 stations or 2.5 hours of train journey time!

    How it works (read then view the movie – (the commentary is inmandarin though!):

    1. For those who are boarding the train: The passengers at a station embark onto to a connector cabin way before the train even arrives at the station. When the train arrives, it will not stop. It just slows down to pick up the connector cabin which will move with the train on the roof of the train.

    While the train is still moving away from the station, those passengers will board the train from the connector cabin mounted on the train’s roof. After fully unloading all its passengers, the connector cabin will be moved to the back of the train so that the next batch of outgoing passengers who want to alight at the next station will board the connector cabin at the rear of the train roof.

    2. For those who are getting off: As stated, after fully unloading all its passengers, the connector cabin will be moved to the back of the train so that the next batch of outgoing passengers who want to ali ght at the next station will board the connector cabin at the rear of the train roof. When the train arrives at the next station, it will simply drop the whole connector cabin at the station itself and leave it behind at the station. The outgoing passengers can take their own time to disembark at the station while the train has already left. At the same time, the train will pick up the incoming embarking passengers on another connector cabin in the front part of the train’s roof. So the train will always drop one connector cabin at the rear of its roof and pick up a new connector cabin in the front part of the train’s roof at each station.

    3. This is called Innovative thinking: Any wonder that all the jobs are going East!

    https://1drv.ms/v/s!AqEOLiTwYPTMgoYVaI_ttkwWnA9EPQ

     
  • lczarnik 15:19 on March 4, 2017 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , Ralph & Barbara   

    the BBQ 

    Forwarded message
    From: Ralph & Barbara
    Date: 2 May 2008 at 09:19
    Subject: Fwd: Fw: Fw: the BBQ

    Turn your speakers on
    This is my idea of retirement.

    Link to PPS
    https://1drv.ms/p/s!AqEOLiTwYPTMgckAMjy213HBku36fA

    BBQInvitation(3).pps

     
  • lczarnik 13:59 on November 8, 2016 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , Ralph & Barbara   

    Dummy Still Performs After Ventriloquist Walks Off Stage 

    Forwarded message
    From: Ralph & BA
    Date: 5 November 2016 at 02:02
    Subject: Fw: Fwd: Dummy Still Performs After Ventriloquist Walks Off Stage

    http://1funny.com/ventriloquist-walks-off

    Dummy Still Performs After Ventriloquist Walks Off Stage

     
  • lczarnik 13:54 on November 8, 2016 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: Ralph & Barbara,   

    Disney offered the author a job… after viewing this 

    Forwarded message
    From: Ralph & BA
    Date: 5 November 2016 at 01:56
    Subject: Fw: Fwd: Disney offered the author a job… after viewing this

    Disney offered the author a job… after viewing this

    https://youtu.be/0zJoYNS6XHU

     
  • lczarnik 13:48 on November 8, 2016 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , Ralph & Barbara   

    Time to hang up the car keys 

    Forwarded message
    From: Ralph & BA
    Date: 26 October 2016 at 11:36
    Subject: Fw: Fwd: Time to hang up the car keys

    How do you know when it is time to"hang up the car keys?"

    I say when your dog has this look on his face!

    A picture is worth a thousand words!

    I bet you will send this one on…… It made me smile, too!

     
  • lczarnik 13:46 on November 8, 2016 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , Ralph & Barbara   

    Aging! 

    Forwarded message
    From: Ralph & BA
    Date: 23 October 2016 at 09:49
    Subject: Fw: Fwd: Aging!

    I very quietly confided to my best friend that I was having an affair.

    She turned to me and asked, ‘Are you having it catered’?

    And that, my friend,

    Is the definition of ‘OLD’!

    ~ ~ ~

    Just before the funeral services, the undertaker

    Came up to the very elderly widow and asked,

    ‘How old was your husband?’

    ’96,’ she replied: ‘Two years younger than me’

    ‘So you’re 98,’ the undertaker commented.

    She responded, ‘Hardly worth going home, isn’t it?’

    ~ ~ ~

    Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman:

    ‘And what do you think is the best thing

    About being 104?’ the reporter asked.

    She simply replied,

    ‘No peer pressure.’

    ~ ~ ~

    I’ve sure gotten old!

    I’ve had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,

    New knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes

    I’m half blind, can’t hear anything quieter than a jet engine,

    Take 40 different medications that

    Make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.

    Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation;

    Hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.

    Can’t remember if I’m 85 or 92.

    Have lost all my friends. But, thank God,

    I still have my Florida driver’s license.

    ~ ~ ~

    I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape,

    So I got my doctor’s permission to

    Join a fitness club and start exercising.

    I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.

    I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour..

    But, by the time I got my leotards on,

    The class was over.

    ~ ~ ~

    An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and

    Told her preacher she had two final requests.

    First, she wanted to be cremated, and second,

    She wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart.

    ‘Wal-Mart?’ the preacher exclaimed. ‘Why Wal-Mart?’

    ‘Then I’ll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week.’

    ~ ~ ~

    My memory’s not as sharp as it used to be.

    Also, my memory’s not as sharp as it used to be.

    ~ ~ ~

    Know how to prevent sagging?

    Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.

    ~ ~ ~

    It’s scary when you start making the same noises

    As your coffee maker.

    ~ ~ ~

    These days about half the stuff

    In my shopping cart says,

    ‘For fast relief.’

    ~ ~ ~

    THE SENILITY PRAYER:

    Grant me the senility to forget the people

    I never liked anyway,

    The good fortune to run into the ones I do, and

    The eyesight to tell the difference.

    ~ ~ ~

    ~ ~ ~

    THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:

    I don’t want to brag or make anyone jealous or anything, but I can still fit
    into the socks I wore in high school.

     
  • lczarnik 13:44 on November 8, 2016 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , Ralph & Barbara   

    HUMOR 

    Forwarded message
    From: Ralph & BA
    Date: 23 October 2016 at 09:44
    Subject: Fw: Fwd: HUMOR

    YOUR MORNING HUMOR!!.

    THIS IS WHAT
    A SENSE OF HUMOUR
    LOOKS LIKE

    THIS IS WHAT
    SAD LOOKS
    LIKE


    THIS IS
    WHAT
    SORRY LOOKS
    LIKE


    THIS IS
    WHAT
    BAD
    SPELLING
    LOOKS
    LIKE

    BAD
    JUDGMENT

    I’D
    RATHER HOLD
    IT


    PILE
    UP LOOKS LIKE


    THIS
    WILL
    MAKE
    YOU SMILE!

    HOW
    WAS
    YOUR
    CEREAL
    THIS
    MORNING?


    HOW
    TO HANDLE
    A
    PROBLEM
    NEIGHBOR


    Good
    Reason to
    Wear
    Pyjamas to
    Bed!!!


    Tattoo
    Of
    The
    Year

    It
    Doesn’t matter how
    Many people you send
    This to, just remember
    If it made you smile,
    Your friends will smile
    Too..

     
  • lczarnik 14:15 on October 16, 2016 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , Ralph & Barbara   

    Food shortage? 

    Forwarded message
    From: Ralph & BA Rays
    Date: 16 October 2016 at 04:03
    Subject: Fw: Fwd: Food shortage?

    Last month, a world-wide telephone survey was conducted by the UN.

    The only question asked was:-

    "Would you please give your honest opinion about possible solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"

    The survey was a complete failure because?

    In Eastern Europe they didn’t know what "honest" meant.
    In Western Europe they didn’t know what "shortage" meant.
    In Africa they didn’t know what "food" meant.
    In China they didn’t know what "opinion" meant.
    In the Middle East they didn’t know what "solution" meant.
    In South America they didn’t know what "please" meant.
    In the USA they didn’t know what "the rest of the world" meant.
    And in Australia, New Zealand, Canada, and Great Britain
    everyone hung up as soon as they heard the Indian accent.

     
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