Maxine-isms

Forwarded message
From: Ken W
Date: 28 January 2017 at 08:39
Subject: Fwd: Fw: Fwd: Fw: Maxine-isms

1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swagger have written an impressive new book. It’s called …’Ministers do more than lay people.’
https://sites.google.com/site/sundayfamilyhumour9/sunday-family-humour--26th-july/sunday-family-humour-26th-july-page-2/Banister of Life 1.jpg?attredirects=0

2.Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.

3. The difference between the Pope and your boss is, the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.
https://sites.google.com/site/sundayfamilyhumour9/sunday-family-humour--26th-july/sunday-family-humour-26th-july-page-2/Banister of Life 4.jpg?attredirects=0

4. My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it is gone.

5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you’re in the bathroom.
https://sites.google.com/site/sundayfamilyhumour9/sunday-family-humour--26th-july/sunday-family-humour-26th-july-page-2/Banister of Life 6.jpg?attredirects=0

6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.

7. It used to be only death and taxes. Now, of course, there’s shipping and handling, too.
https://sites.google.com/site/sundayfamilyhumour9/sunday-family-humour--26th-july/sunday-family-humour-26th-july-page-2/Banister of Life 8.jpg?attredirects=0

8. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.

9. My next house will have no kitchen – just vending machines and a large trash can.
https://sites.google.com/site/sundayfamilyhumour9/sunday-family-humour--26th-july/sunday-family-humour-26th-july-page-2/Banister of Life 10.jpg?attredirects=0

10 . Definition of a teenager? God’s punishment…for enjoying sex.

Thought for the day: Be who you are and say what you feel… because those that matter…don’t mind…and those that mind… don’t matter!

"When you find people who not only tolerate your quirks but celebrate them with glad cries of "me, too!" be sure to cherish them. Because those weirdos are your tribe."

Hope you all enjoyed these !!!
Happy 2017 !!!

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