Senior Moments of Inspiration – SMILE

Forwarded message
From: Ken W
Date: 30 August 2016 at 06:57
Subject: Senior Moments of Inspiration – SMILE

1. My goal for 2016 was to lose just 10 pounds … only 15 to go.

2. Ate salad for dinner …mostly croutons & tomatoes … really just
one big, round crouton covered with tomato sauce … and cheese…
FINE, it was a pizza… I ate a pizza!

3. How to prepare Tofu:
1. Throw it in the trash.
2. Grill some meat.

4. I just did a week’s worth of cardio after walking into a spider web.

5. I don’t mean to brag but… I finished my 14-day diet food in 3
hours and 20 minutes.

6. A recent study has found women who carry a little extra weight
live longer than men who mention it.

7. Kids today don’t know how easy they have it… when I was young,
I had to walk through 9 feet of shag carpet to change the TV channel.

8. Senility has been a smooth transition for me.

9. Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below zero
out they closed school? Me neither.

10. I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or
talented … I forgot where I was going with this.

11. I love being over 60 … I learn something new every day … and
forget 5 others.

12. A thief broke into my house last night … He started searching
for money … so I woke up and searched with him.

13. My dentist told me I need a Crown … I said, "You bet, pour mine
over the rocks".

14. I think I’ll just put an "Out of Order" sticker on my forehead
and call it a day.

"Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed."