The blonde man has arrived

Forwarded message
From: Ralph & BA
Date: 14 July 2015 at 23:44
Subject: Fw: Fwd: FW: Fwd: The blonde man has arrived

> > The Blonde Man has
> > arrived!!!!!!!!!!!
> > A
> > blonde man is in the
> > bathroom and his wife shouts: "Did you find the
> > shampoo?" He answers,
> > "Yes, but I’m not sure what to do… it’s
> > for dry hair, and I’ve just wet mine."
> >
> > A blonde man goes to the vet
> > with his goldfish.
> > "I think it’s got epilepsy," he tells the
> > vet.
> > The vet takes a look and says, "It seems calm
> > enough to
> > me." The blonde man
> > says, "Wait, I haven’t taken it out of the bowl
> > yet."
> >
> > A blonde man spies a letter lying on his doormat.
> > It says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND ". He
> > spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to
> pick
> > it up.
> >
> > A blonde man shouts
> > frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant
> > and her Contractions are only two minutes
> > apart!"
> > "Is this her first child?" asks the Doctor.
> > "No!" he shouts, "this is her husband!"
> >
> > A blonde man was
> > driving home, drunk as a skunk. Suddenly he has to
> > swerve To avoid a tree, then another, then another.
> > A cop car pulls him over, so he tells
> > the cop about all the trees in the
> > Road. The cop says, "That’s your
> > air freshener swinging about!"
> >
> > A blonde man’s dog goes missing and he is frantic. His
> > wife says "Why don’t
> > You put an ad in the paper?"
> > He does, but two weeks later the
> > dog is still missing.
> > "What did you put in the paper?" his wife
> > asks. "Here boy!" he replies.
> >
> > A blonde man is in jail.
> > The guard looks in his cell and sees him
> > Hanging by his feet. "Just
> > WHAT are you doing?" he asks.
> > "Hanging myself," the blonde replies.
> > "The rope should be around your neck" says the
> > guard. "I tried that," he replies, "but
> > then I
> > couldn’t breathe."
> >
> > (This one actually
> > makes sense.) An Italian tourist
> > asks a blonde man: "Why do scuba
> > divers always fall
> > Backwards off their boats?" To which the blonde man
> > replies: "If they fell Forward, they’d still be in
> > the boat."
> >
> > A friend told the blonde
> > man: "Christmas is on a Friday this year."
> > The blonde man then said,
> > "Let’s hope it’s not the 13th."
> >
> > Two blonde men find three
> > grenades, and they decide to take them to a police
> > Station.
> > One asked:
> > "What if one explodes before we get there?"
> > The other says: "We’ll lie
> > and say we only found two."
> >
> > A woman phoned her blonde neighbor man and said:
> > "Close your curtains the Next time you & your wife
> > are having sex. The
> > whole street was
> > watching and laughing at you yesterday."
> > To which the blonde man replied:
> > "Well the joke’s on all of you because
> > I
> > wasn’t even at home yesterday."

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