Puns for educated minds

Forwarded message
From: Ken W
Date: 17 April 2015 at 04:04
Subject: Fw: Fwd: Puns for educated minds

These are long, but really funny. I wonder how people come up with these things. Too much time on their hands I guess.

PUNS FOR EDUCATED MINDS

• How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it….

• Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!

• A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.

• I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

• Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

• England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .

• I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

• They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.

• I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.

• Jokes about German sausages are the wurst.

• I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

• I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

• This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.

• When chemists die, apparently they barium.

• I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.

• I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

• I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

• Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?

• When you get a bladder infection you know urine trouble.

• Broken pencils are pretty much pointless.

• What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

• I dropped out of the Communism class because of lousy Marx.

• All the toilets in New York ‘s police stations have been stolen. As of now, it appears the police have nothing to go on.

• I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

• Velcro – what a rip off.

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