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  • lczarnik 10:39 on August 15, 2014 Permalink | Reply
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    A Little Poem 

    Forwarded messageFrom: Ralph & BA
    Date: 15 August 2014 05:33

    Subject: Fw: Fwd: Fw: A Little Poem

    This Was Us Back In The 1940’s and 50’s

    A little house with three bedrooms,
    One bathroom and one car on the street
    A mower that you had to push
    To make the grass look neat.

    In the kitchen on the wall
    We only had one phone,
    And no need for recording things,
    Someone was always home.

    We only had a living room
    Where we would congregate,
    Unless it was at mealtime
    In the kitchen where we ate.

    We had no need for family rooms
    Or extra rooms to dine.
    When meeting as a family
    Those two rooms would work out fine.

    We only had one TV set
    And channels maybe two,
    But always there was one of them
    With something worth the view

    For snacks we had potato chips
    That tasted like a chip.
    And if you wanted flavor
    There was Lipton’s onion dip.

    Store-bought snacks were rare because
    My mother liked to cook
    And nothing can compare to snacks
    In Betty Crocker’s book

    Weekends were for family trips
    Or staying home to play
    We all did things together —
    Even go to church to pray.

    When we did our weekend trips
    Depending on the weather,
    No one stayed at home because
    We liked to be together.

    Sometimes we would separate
    To do things on our own,
    But we knew where the others were
    Without our own cell phone

    Then there were the movies
    With your favorite movie star,
    And nothing can compare
    To watching movies in your car

    Then there were the picnics
    at the peak of summer season,
    Pack a lunch and find some trees
    And never need a reason.

    Get a baseball game together
    With all the friends you know,
    Have real action playing ball —
    And no game video.

    Remember when the doctor
    Used to be the family friend,
    And didn’t need insurance
    Or a lawyer to defend

    The way that he took care of you
    Or what he had to do,
    Because he took an oath and strived
    To do the best for you

    Remember going to the store
    And shopping casually,
    And when you went to pay for it
    You used your own money?

    Nothing that you had to swipe
    Or punch in some amount,
    And remember when the cashier person
    Had to really count?

    The milkman used to go
    From door to door,
    And it was just a few cents more
    Than going to the store.

    There was a time when mailed letters
    Came right to your door,
    Without a lot of junk mail ads
    Sent out by every store

    The mailman knew each house by name
    And knew where it was sent;
    There were not loads of mail addressed
    To "present occupant”

    There was a time when just one glance
    Was all that it would take,
    And you would know the kind of car,
    The model and the make

    They didn’t look like turtles
    Trying to squeeze out every mile;
    They were streamlined, white walls, fins
    And really had some style

    One time the music that you played
    Whenever you would jive,
    Was from a vinyl, big-holed record
    Called a forty-five

    The record player had a post
    To keep them all in line
    And then the records would drop down
    And play one at a time.

    Oh sure, we had our problems then,
    Just like we do today
    And always we were striving,
    Trying for a better way.

    Oh, the simple life we lived
    Still seems like so much fun,
    How can you explain a game,
    Just kick the can and run?

    And why would boys put baseball cards
    Between bicycle spokes
    And for a nickel, red machines
    Had little bottled Cokes?

    This life seemed so much easier
    Slower in some ways
    I love the new technology
    But I sure do miss those days.

    So time moves on and so do we
    And nothing stays the same,
    But I sure love to reminisce
    And walk down memory lane.

    With all today’s technology
    We grant that it’s a plus!
    But it’s fun to look way back and say,

    Hey look, THAT WAS US!

     
  • lczarnik 10:35 on August 15, 2014 Permalink | Reply
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    SIMPLE BUT TRUE 

    Forwarded message
    From: Ralph & BA
    Date: 15 August 2014 04:57
    Subject: Fw: Fwd: SIMPLE BUT TRUE

    SIMPLE BUT TRUE

    1. A girl is said to be grown up when she starts wearing a bra. A boy is grown up when he starts removing it.

    2. We all love to spend lots of money buying new clothes but we never realize that the best moments in life are enjoyed without clothes.

    3. Having a cold drink on hot day with a few friends is nice, but having a hot friend on a cold night after a few drinks – PRICELESS.

    4. Breaking News: Condoms don’t guarantee safe sex anymore. A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot dead by the woman’s husband.

    5. Arguing over a girl’s bust size is like choosing between Coors, Fosters, Carlsberg & Budweiser. Men may state their preferences, but will grab whatever is available.

    Watery Eyes After Sex

    Two guys were in a bar talking, and one says to the other,
    "You ever notice after you have sex with a strange woman that your eyes and nose burn, and you get all teary-eyed?"

    The second guy says, "Yeah, all the time.

    " The first one asked, "Why is that?"

    The second guy says, "I’m pretty sure it’s the pepper spray."

     
  • lczarnik 09:56 on August 14, 2014 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: ,   

    The 2014 Flood 

    Forwarded message
    From: Ralph & BA
    Date: 14 August 2014 02:59
    Subject: Fw: The 2014 Flood

    These are some interesting shots of our Monday rain. BA

    http://www.freep.com/interactive/article/20140812/NEWS05/308120049/detroit-flood-social-media

    Sent from my iPad

     
  • lczarnik 06:44 on August 11, 2014 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: ,   

    GOOD ONE 

    Forwarded message
    From: Ralph & BA
    Date: 11 August 2014 06:37
    Subject: Fw: GOOD ONE

    To whom does the land of Israel belong?

    An Israeli Sense of Humor at United Nations set
    the record straight.

    An ingenious example of speech and politics
    occurred recently in the United Nations Assembly
    and made the world community smile.

    A representative from Israel began:
    ‘Before beginning my talk I want to tell you
    something about Moses:
    When he struck the rock and it brought forth
    water, he thought,
    "What a good opportunity to have a bath!"

    Moses removed his clothes, put them aside on the
    rock and entered the water.
    When he got out and wanted to dress, his clothes
    had vanished. A Palestinian had stolen them!

    The Palestinian representative at the UN jumped
    up furiously and shouted, "What are you talking about?
    The Palestinians weren’t there then."

    The Israeli representative smiled and said,
    "And now that we have made that clear, I will
    begin my speech."

     
  • lczarnik 06:21 on August 11, 2014 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: ,   

    Redneck Psyche & Low Stress Levels 

    Forwarded message
    From: Ken W
    Date: 10 August 2014 05:07
    Subject: Fw: Fwd: Redneck Psyche & Low Stress Levels

    Rednecks have the lowest stress rate because they do

    Notunderstand the seriousness of most medical terminology:

    Medical Term Redneck Definition
    Artery The study of paintings
    Bacteria Back door to cafeteria
    Barium What doctors do when patients die
    Benign What you be, after you be eight
    Caesarean Section A neighborhood in Rome
    Cat scan Searching for Kitty
    Cauterize Made eye contact with her
    Colic A sheep dog
    Coma A punctuation mark
    Dilate To live long
    Enema Not a friend
    Fester Quicker than someone else
    Fibula A small lie
    Impotent Distinguished, well known
    Labor Pain Getting hurt at work
    Medical Staff A Doctor’s cane
    Morbid A higher offer
    Nitrates Rates of Pay for Working at Night,
    Normally more money than Days
    Node I knew it
    Outpatient A person who has fainted
    Pelvis Second cousin to Elvis
    Post Operative A letter carrier
    Recovery Room Place to do upholstery
    Rectum Nearly killed him
    Secretion Hiding something
    Seizure Roman Emperor
    Tablet A small table
    Terminal Illness Getting sick at the airport
    Tumor One plus one more
    Urine Opposite of you’re out
     
  • lczarnik 15:59 on August 5, 2014 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: ,   

    M Pay attn 

    Forwarded message
    From: Carol Z
    Date: 2 August 2014 06:56
    Subject: M Pay attn

    Hi Everybody,

    Please watch this and make sure your kids do too.

    GREAT DEMO – BRILLIANT ACTUALLY!!!!!

    Surprise, surprise!!

    A Movie Theater Got Its Audience To Use Their Phones !

    What a brilliant way to communicate how risky it is to use mobile phones!

    More than 1.5 million views in 3 days!

    https://www.youtube.com/embed/JHixeIr_6BM?rel=0&autoplay=1&iv_load_policy=3

    .

     
  • lczarnik 09:32 on August 1, 2014 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: ,   

    Women pay back…… 

    Forwarded message
    From: Ralph & BA
    Date: 31 July 2014 11:49
    Subject: Fw: Fwd: Fw: Women pay back……

    No offense, guys, but these are funny! *:O) clown

    Now, I know there are many really good men out there, but these are funny:):):)

    Women pay back……

    A LOT OF FEMALES JOKES FLOAT AROUND THE INTERNET BUT SOME MAY BE SURPRISED THAT THERE IS A WHOLE GROUP OF JOKES ABOUT MEN THAT MANY DO NOT SEE. ENJOY THIS OTHER SIDE OF THE COIN.

    One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, ‘What setting do I use on the washing machine?’
    ‘It depends,’ I replied. ‘What does it say on your shirt?’
    He yelled back, ‘ Notre Dame !’
    And they say blondes are dumb…

    A couple is lying in bed. The man says,’I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world…’
    The woman replies, ‘I’ll miss you…….

    ‘It’s just too hot to wear clothes today,’ Jack says as he stepped out of the shower..’Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?’
    ‘Probably that I married you for your money,’ she replied.

    Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
    A: A rumor

    Dear Lord,
    I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; and Patience for his moods.
    Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I’ll beat him to death.
    AMEN

    Q: Why do little boys whine?
    A: They are practicing to be men.

    Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
    A: Trustworthy. ..

    Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
    A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

    Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
    A: It helps them remember which end to wipe..

    Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
    A: Rename the email folder ‘Instruction Manuals’

    While creating husbands, God promised women that good and ideal husbands would be found in all corners of the world………
    ……then He made the earth round, and laughed and laughed and laughed.

     
  • lczarnik 09:29 on August 1, 2014 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: ,   

    Good ones!! 

    Forwarded message
    From: Ralph & BA
    Date: 31 July 2014 03:10
    Subject: Fw: Fwd: Good ones!!

    Sign over a Gynecologist’s Office:
    "Dr. Jones, at your cervix."

    In a Podiatrist’s office:
    "Time wounds all heels."

    On a Septic Tank Truck:
    Yesterday’s Meals on Wheels

    At an Optometrist’s Office:
    "If you don’t see what you’re looking for, you’ve come to the right place."

    On a Plumber’s truck:
    "We repair what your husband fixed."

    On another Plumber’s truck:
    "Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."

    At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee :
    "Invite us to your next blowout."

    On a Maternity Room door:
    "Push. Push. Push."

    Outside a Muffler Shop:
    "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."

    In a Veterinarian’s waiting room:
    "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

    In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
    "Drive carefully. We’ll wait."

    And don’t forget the sign at a CHICAGO RADIATOR SHOP:
    "Best place in town to take a leak."

     
  • lczarnik 09:27 on August 1, 2014 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: ,   

    Majestic & Beautiful Grand Canyon cl 

    Forwarded message
    From: Ralph & BA
    Date: 29 July 2014 23:56
    Subject: Fw: Fwd: Majestic & Beautiful Grand Canyon cl

    Wonderful shots. BA

    http://www.humfer.net/gcanyon/index.html

     
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