HOW TO CALL THE POLICE and more

Forwarded message
From: Ralph & BA
Date: 17 May 2014 02:59
Subject: Fw: Fwd: HOW TO CALL THE POLICE and more

These have been around before but they made me laugh today and I hope they do the same for you. BA

WHEN YOU’RE OLD, AND DON’T MOVE FAST ANYMORE.

George Phillips, an elderly man from

Walled Lake, Michigan, was going up

to bed, when his wife told him that he’d
left the light on in the garden shed,
which she could see from the bedroom

window.
George opened the back door to go turn
off the light, but saw that there were
people in the shed stealing things.

He phoned the police, who asked
"Is someone in your house?"

He said "No," but some people are
breaking into my garden shed and

stealing from me.

Then the police dispatcher said "All
patrols are busy, you should lock your
doors and an officer will be along when
one is available"

George said, "Okay."

He hung up the phone and counted to 30.
Then he phoned the police again.

"Hello, I just called you a few seconds
ago because there were people stealing
things from my shed.
Well, you don’t have to worry about
them now because I just shot and killed
them both; the dogs are eating them
right now," and he hung up.

Within five minutes, six Police Cars, a
SWAT Team
, a Helicopter, two Fire

Trucks, a Paramedic and an Ambulance

showed up at the Phillips’ residence,
and caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the Policemen said to George,
"I thought you said that you’d shot them!"

George said, "I thought you said
there was nobody available!"

(True Story)

Don’t mess with old people


A few chuckles for seniors.

GETTING OLDER

A distraught senior citizen

phoned her doctor’s
office.
"Is it true," she wanted to know,
"that the medication

you prescribed has to be taken

for the rest of my life?"

"’Yes, I’m afraid so,"’ the doctor

told her.
There was a moment of silence

before the senior lady replied,

"I’m wondering, then,

just how serious is my condition

because this prescription is

marked ‘NO REFILLS’.."

***********************

An older gentleman was
on the operating table

awaiting surgery
and he insisted that his son,
a renowned surgeon,
perform the operation.
As he was about to get the
anesthesia, he asked to speak
to his son.
"Yes, Dad , what is it?"
"Don’t be nervous, son;
do your best,
and just remember,
if it doesn’t go well,
if something happens to me,
your mother
is going to come and
live with you and your wife…."
(I LOVE IT!)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Aging:
Eventually you will reach a point
when you stop lying about your
age and start bragging about it.
This is so true.
I love to hear them say
"you don’t look that old."

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