Thoughts by Ducky

———- Forwarded message ———-
From: Ralph & BA
Date: 9 August 2011 22:41
Subject: Fw: Fwd: Thoughts by Ducky

The thoughts have been around before but the presentation is cute.  BA



 
 

 

 

  

'LIFE' THOUGHTS BY 'DUCKY'

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I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with 'Guess' on it.

So I said 'Implants?'  She hit me.

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Marriage changes passion.

Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.

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Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.

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How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss  America  ?

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When I was young we used to go 'skinny dipping,' now I just 'chunky dunk.'

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I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing.  If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!

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Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over?  AMEN, AMEN!

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Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.

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Wouldn't you know it…..

Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.

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Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?

A completely brilliant question!!!!!!!

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Bumper sticker of the year:
'If you can read this, thank a teacher –
and, since it's in English, thank a soldier'

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Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside?

Another completely brilliant question!!!!

And remember:

Life is like a roll of toilet paper.

The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

You just might want to pass this along…

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